The College of Arms

Dear College of Arms,

I was wondering if you could help me. Last night, after overhearing someone say something had cost them an arm and a leg, my mate and I wondered, if faced with a choice, which one is worth more? I chose arm because, unlike a leg, it has a piece of furniture named after it, namely the armchair. In fact, only two other body parts (as far as I’m aware) also have items of furniture named after them, these being the not so sort after footstool and the ubiquitous chest of draws.

This morning however I’m beginning to panic because I hadn’t considered a leg rest and the fact that we hadn’t defined what we meant by the term ‘worth more’. I interpret ‘worth more’ in terms of status, specifically furniture status as discussed; however, if I were a butcher (which I’m not) then a leg may be worth more to me than an arm because of its larger size.

As you can see there is more to this argument than first meets the eye. I was hoping being the Head of the College of Arms (however strange that sounds to me) you might be able to help me win the bet by weighing in with your encyclopaedic knowledge of all things arms related.

I don’t want to lose this bet because the winner gets to own the other’s arm or leg for the night. This means if I lose, I may be asked to stand on one leg all evening, or kick strangers in the shin and have to stick around to take the consequences or worse.

If I win, however, image the fun I could have. If you were to help then please feel free to suggest forfeits for my mate to endure…the more ‘armful the better.

Yours sincerely,